How Failed Became Passed-My Story

Hello and Welcome to my Fellow Roguers!

My name is Michelle Zeman. Some of you know me as the quirky, bubbly girl with the really adorable pug. Well, I’m much more than just a bubbly pug momma. Here’s my story of making a failed score become a passed score.

The Beginning

On February 25, 1995 (age 3), I was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Other Specified (PDD-NOS). Had I been diagnosed today, I would just receive an Autism diagnosis. What prompted my mom to get me diagnosed was I had serious self-injurious behaviors as an infant (scratching my face to the point of bleeding), I hated being coddled, my developmental milestones did not match with my brothers’, and I had sensory issues – especially in the clothes that I wear.

Therapies Growing Up

Throughout my growth, I did ABA at home. My mom had a Program Supervisor that worked with me, but she did this for less than a year. I was making & continuing on with my progress. I also went to Sensory Integration Therapy for about six months (insurance ran out after that so I stopped going). Finally, though I was mainstreamed successfully in 1 st grade (age 6), I was required to do Speech at another school (the private school I was attending did not offer this). I was often pulled out of classes. I hated doing this as I would miss classes I enjoyed, such as Band and Choir, but this is what ultimately helped me hit developmental milestones. These pull-out classes continued for several years.

I had yearly assessments in regards to my progress in language, fine motor, gross motor, reading, and math. It was when I was in 6 th grade, ending my elementary school career, when I finally was excused from Speech and any other services as I was scoring within neurotypical limits. I was finally able to go through the motions of what a neurotypical adolescent did.

I was ashamed of my diagnosis growing up. It was bad enough I was being bullied for being “too fat” and “too weird”, but this would fuel the fire even more so than before. I didn’t admit my diagnosis until I was in 10 th grade World History class, where we were talking about learning disabilities. I said it really softly at first, and my teacher heard me. He told me to speak up, and then I finally said “I have Autism”. Since then, I’ve been able to admit it on an open forum.

My Journey with ABA Begins

So, with that said… you’re probably wondering how I even got into Applied Behavior Analysis, right? I had gone to college originally for Journalism, but I wasn’t happy with what I was doing. During the summer of my sophomore year, I spent two weeks volunteering at a private clinic in Sarasota, FL. It brought back many wonderful memories, and I wanted to make a career out of it. So, after I received my BA in Journalism in December 2012, I went back to school for my MA in Applied Behavior Analysis and attended Ball State University. I struggled some in grad school, but I managed to graduate in July 2014.

Once I graduated with my MA, I thought “hey, I should sit for the BCBA exam in November!” Yeah big mistake, especially because I didn’t study. I wrote notecards, but I didn’t use them the way I probably should have. I had an anxiety attack the night before I took the exam. Then I woke up at 3:45 AM the day of, had my exam at 8, finished in an hour and a half, and failed. Badly.

Multi-Test Taker

Now for tests 2 and 3, I decided to use the same study method both times – the only difference was with time #3, I actually put more effort into studying and listened to the audio recordings. From test 1 to test 2, I managed to increase my score by 167 points (yes kids, that’s how bad I did). From test 2 to 3, I only increased it by 3 points. For the fourth test, I really just wrote out concepts in a study manual. I was able to understand them a lot quicker, but was it enough for me to pass? Nope. This last go-round, I got a 377.

Failing this exam for the fourth time was hard for me to comprehend. I thought “well what could I do? I feel like I’ve done everything I can!” Here’s the thing: I didn’t. Even though I’m on the Autism spectrum, I have not once blamed my failure on Autism. I beat the odds about a thousand times over with the milestones I’ve reached, and I was going to reach this milestone whether people believed in me or not. Even though I had felt hopeless the day exam results came out, I didn’t give up. I was determined to slay the beast once and for all.

Time to Go Rogue

I had posted something in an ABA-related group. Because I was planning on sitting for the August exam (as my testing window expires at the end of November), Sarah had reached out to me and many other multi-test takers. We had the Behavior Bosses group, and after about a month or so, I went Rogue with her, Corrie, Lindsey, Mattie, and Katie.

I joined the Rogue Facebook group. I took all of the daily challenges very seriously, wrote out questions I struggled in, and even discussed concepts that I struggled in through Zoom sessions. This past testing cycle, I also hosted Jeopardy Zooms. I took 5 topics from the Task List and wrote 5 questions per topic, and created a Final Jeopardy topic. In study sessions, I discussed the topics with other test takers. These Final Jeopardy sessions occurred 5 days in a row and it was one of the best experiences of my study journey – in fact, now I will be hosting Rogue Reviews for the November cycle!

I took the exam for this cycle on August 18 and had WAY more confidence this time around. I took 3 and a half hours, took 3 breaks (as I was starting to zone out after each hour), and wrote “GO SLOWLY, YOU WILL PASS” on my White Board (among my logic for the questions I answered).

Finally-“Passed”

As some of you may know, we received our results on September 23. I was in the middle of therapy with a client when I got a message from Bianca (another one of the managers) saying “Results are up”. My face turned beet red and I had taken a break to check this out. Then…boom. I saw the word “Passed”. My jaw felt like it dropped to the floor from how excited and happy I was from passing. I told my Rogue girls & the group. I texted my mom, coworkers, friends, and of course, had to put an announcement on Facebook.

Now a BCBA

But you know what? I made my dream come true…I am officially a Board Certified Behavior Analyst. It has never felt so good to finally write those words, or even say them. Here’s some advice for all of you studying. Study every single section – even do behavioral momentum (study 2 sections that you are knowledgeable over, then study one that you’re not). Purchase the products – the Rogue gold package has the most stuff and has the most bang for its buck. Do the BAS mock exams. Do the challenges. Ask and answer questions. Write your own questions for the sake of getting feedback. Take studying & the exam itself seriously – I know that you do NOT want to be a five- time test taker like me.

And if you fail, PLEASE DON’T GIVE UP. I know some of you guys feel like you’re at a loss with what todo, but the Rogue girls have your back. You will pass, you will get through this hurdle, and you will become a BCBA.

All My Love,

Michelle

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