I finished my exam today around noon. I spent 6+ months molding my schedule to accommodate studying while trying not to disrupt my family life and allow the activities that would provide respite.
I trained for a marathon to continue doing what I love while giving myself time to think, reflect, and decompress each day. On many occasions this meant running at 5am on weekends so I was back home to spend time with my daughter as soon as she woke up.
I made sure I spent time with my family. It didn’t matter if it was Easter brunch, weekly grocery shopping, or playing games in the backyard. I didn’t see my friends, but that was a sacrifice I knew I could make. I wasn’t willing to sacrifice family time. If that meant a day passed without any studying, I took it as a much-needed mental break.
My weeknights were spent studying – typically 2 hours each after our daughter went to bed. My weekends included studying while she napped and again after she went to bed. It was great for spending time with my family, but not so great for spending quality time with my wife.
The studying was structured, purposeful, and intense. But I also made a conscious effort to separate it as much as possible from the rest of my life. I didn’t want to ask my wife to help quiz me on terms or place stacks of vocabulary cards around the house. All great strategies, but for my own sanity I needed that barrier.
Incredibly, I don’t feel so much exhaustion anymore. I no longer feel stressed. If anything, I’m not sure what to do with my 15+ hours per week that are now free. I think this means I can watch TV again. And spend time with my wife. Maybe sit and stop thinking for more than a couple minutes.
I don’t know if I’ve passed or failed, but I do know I’m not going to stress over the next few weeks about “what could have been.” The exam is over and done with; there’s nothing else I can do to change the result. I have a lot of free time back in my life to do everything I’ve missed out on. Worrying about whether I truly understand behavioral contrast or if maybe that really was a DRL and not a DRD has no room in my life for the next few weeks.
The message I hope to spread here : We’ve all finished this exam cycle, or are about to. Enjoy the fact that, even if it’s just for a few weeks, we’re free. We’re free from constantly thinking, reading, and processing. So please, take the next few weeks and keep yourself busy with people and things you love. I hope to prevent myself from waiting for an email or thinking about a pass/fail grade until at least June 21, 3 weeks from the end of the cycle. I think then I’ll let myself obsess again.
By Brad Winn
Rogue Facebook group member
Posted on May 30th and republished with permission.
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